Imagine you’re a woman, about to sleep with a guy. You take his penis into your mouth, but all of the sudden his penis turns into a stick shift. And his whole body wraps around you and turns into a car. And now you’re sitting in the drivers seat with a stick shift stuck in your mouth.

Then you hear in a loud robotic voice, AUTOBOTS! ROLL OUT!!!

And suddenly the lamp in the room turns into a helicopter and flies away.

It’s not until later that you realize that your hookup let his buddy disguise himself and sit in the room to watch.

And then you wonder…if your boyfriend cums on your tits…is it just gasoline? Oil? Winshield wiper fluid?

Man that is an unfortunate headline phrasing. I kept wondering if Optimus Prime has a penis or not.

knows how to make himself look smart

He said, talking about the guy who did a nazi salute on national television, intentionally, and then turned around and did it again for the people in the back. In case there was anyone who missed it the first time.

See what we should do…is look to the french for inspiration on guillotine designs. Why would anyone not want to get rid of this asshole? Why would anyone like him?

This isn’t reddit. Thatxs not what we do here.

Don’t buy a tv. Buy a “monitor”. Add your own external tv tuner box, and other smart sticks externally. At that point your “tv” is just a display.

Yes, it costs more, but you’re not paying with your data.

Tip number 1 - Don’t buy them.

I understood nothing you just said. Are you an alien from mars, who’s almost learned english, but not quite?

Because if so…that’s pretty impressive. But also, you should leave earth. Humans have been known to kill other humans for having a different skin color, or for believing in a different magical man in the sky. I can’t imagine what they’d do to someone from another planet!

Earth is not tolerant of others.

Looks around modern day

You uh…you think N Korea is the only ones?

I keep hearing this, and I’ve been ready to fight back against them for decades, but I don’t ever see the revolution.

Unless you count occupy wallstreet, which lasted like 2 weeks, and nobody remembers.

“I like Lemmy way more than I ever did Reddit. The people are nicer”

punches you in the face

Oh, yeah. Totally agree

punches you in the balls

Over on reddit, there are all kinds of fascists, and literal nazis.

uppercuts you

Over here, theres an instance full of tankies, but you can avoid them.

kicks you in the shins

The people here are TOTALLY nicer!

kick kick punch

What? I’m not attacking you to be violent. I just have a neurological disorder that causes my limbs to involuntarily thrash out.

punch

I’m TOTALLY being friendly right now!

kick punch it’s all in the mind

Several billion dollars worth of eggs??? How many eggs are you using for your omlettes??? All 12???

I certainly hope you’re oversimplifying for the sake of expressing a core concept. Because the amount of tracking, and profile building goes far FAR beyond what you’ve just said.

It’s like 1984 (the book) is tame by comparison.

I mean, yes and no.

You know how when you look up at a nights sky, and the whole sky is covered in a series of rotating popup ads, with the stars as their backdrop?

What do you mean NO??? When you use your telescope to try to look at space, and all you see is a facebook ad, a mcdonalds ad, a starbucks ad, an ad for a local lawyer, you know…space ads. We’ve all seen them. Just ads floating in space, illuminating the night sky.

Oh, my mistake. This is 2025. That’s commonplace in 2125. See, the technology to impose global space ads isn’t a thing yet.

The thing about technology is, there’s always somebody looking to profit off of every new technology. The technology behind space ads is actually used to show important global events, like what the global dictator does everyday. Oh, right. In 2125 there’s a global dictator who rules the entire planet through oppression and slavery. So, not much different than 2025, besides even the illusion of freedom is gone.

The point is, you don’t have the technology to put ads in the sky, and therefore the advertising industry can’t yet be blamed. But once it exists, they will.

It really is a chicken or the egg situation.

I’m going to eat carbon!

You should go on fetlife. Whole bunch of kinky motherfuckers in the science field doing research in Antartica.

Great! I hope they come find me! I’m doing all sorts of shady illegal things. I’m even a convict, but I escaped jail time. I’ll continue doing unlawful things, and continue putting all of your lives in danger. Especially the minorities, women and immigrants! My address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500.

Oh my god…How I Met Your Mother was right!!! This is absolutely going to lead to “Wrestlers vs Robots”!!!

Jimmy Carter sold his peanut farm because he felt it would be a conflict of interest for the president to own outside business ventures while running the country. The country shit on him for being “weak” as a president, and OVERWHELMINGLY threw their support for the incoming ronald reagan.

The same guy who set up many of the policies that normalized the same behavior we see today.

This concept of scamming the people, and scamming the government, set up by a 34x convicted convict who’s yet to see the inside of a jail cell isn’t some anomaly. It’s the logical conclusion to what’s been happening in this country for 40+ years.

You did this America. This is the result.

Hey, listen. I don’t say this to just ANYONE, but I like the cut of your jib! What’s a jib, you ask? Not important. What IS important is I’ve got an amazing deal on a bridge I’d like to sell you! See, I gotta clear my inventory space for the new models coming out soon, and this model is from the 1800s. You’ve heard the childrens song London Bridge is falling down? Yeah. Falling down in cost, and I’m passing the savings onto yooouuuuu!!!

See, most bridges cost MILLIONS of dollars, but I’ll sell it to you for only $50,000! Or my name isn’t James J. O’Brien!