How many internet connected devices do you think there are in a typical 2 adult 2 kid household, excluding phones? Here are TVs, tablets, Chromebooks, laptops, game consoles etc etc. Kids don’t jus have phones - mine don’t and there’s still a raw internet connection to almost all these devices.

And out of all of that only one has good controls for parents and believe me when I say this, setting it up was torture.

If you want to block YouTube to specific devices and not others its a really difficult thing to do. Especially when Big Tech is working against you - block the YouTube URLs on a Pihole and you’ll find that the play store also doesn’t work. There are plenty of dark patterns in all these things. Because these companies do not want to help by blocking access to the marketing bucks of kids.

There is no simple solution to all of it unless you either live in the past or you parent so 1984ly that it’ll exhaust you and alienate your kids from you.

Your notion of the modern world is terribly quaint

As a very tech savvy parent I have to say that setting up an inhibited, monitored and controlled internet for specific devices and users is insanely difficult. The average person stands no chance. But sure, blame the parents instead of the technology as it is sold and delivered.

If you want to host things and be accessible from outside your home then I’d start with getting a domain and static IP, point the DNS at your IP, make sure your DNS provider is supported by Let’s Encrypt DNS authentication.

Then setup nginx as a reverse proxy and get Let’s Encrypt setup with auto renewal. That way you can have secure https connections to your home.

Then install docker compose, fire up a service and configure nginx to proxy to it