

Do we expect every single user to assess all of the toxic communities
No, I want users to have access to a list of pre-curated communities and let them customize it to their liking, like what Fediverser does.
In the same way that defederation is an admin-level decision impacting all of the userbase
Defederation is a bad way to manage conflict. It is a nuclear option that should be taken only when the offending instance (as a whole) is malicious. To stretch this “my server, my rules” philosophy further is bad design.
Good admins are like good janitors. They are not there to enforce behavior top-down.
What skin in the game is required from someone to create an account on lemmy.world or mastodon.social? Conversely, what type of “bad consequences” is there for some admin that sets up an instance and fails to manage it properly? There isn’t any.
There is nothing organic about instances because there is no natural limit to how big they can get. The cost per user on an instance grows sub-linearly with the amount of users in an instance. This is why we are ending up with this power-law distribution and the majority of users go to the “flagship” instances and the minority spread around on micro-instances.
Social connections and the relationships are only meaningful if they have some shared context. Your family/extended family, the people you’ve went to school with, your swimming team mates, your co-workers, your neighbors, etc. But once we go past a certain scale (Dunbar’s Number) people start seeing individuals and just treat everyone else as interchangeable masses of crowds.
The absolute majority of people are only looking at social media platforms as a means to something. They don’t care whether they found the information they were looking for on Reddit, or lemmy.world or piefed.social. They don’t care if they are avoiding boredom at the subway by scrolling videos on Instagram, TikTok or loops. If we keep demanding people to understand the power dynamics each instance just before joining or tell them, they will just turn their heels over to the status quo.